Happy Birthday Holland 🎉

Happiest birthday baby girl. There hasn’t been a single day in these 730 days that you’ve been gone that I haven’t thought about you. We talk about you often. You are a popular topic in this house. Your big sister talks about you everyday. “I miss Holland mom. I wish she was here to play […]

Savoring the moments

A little over four years ago I became a mom to the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen. She was perfect. She decided to enter this world at only 32 weeks and 6 days. We named her Hayven Grayce Duncan. Hayven (haven) means safe. And it fits her perfectly. She was and is […]

Part 2 birth story

Everything seems a blur, I remember the nurse showed me my baby, and off she went. I was so tired but wanted, needed him with me. Riley followed her back and they did his examination. He was retracting and thought that he may not have pallet in his mouth so they called his doctor (seriously […]

McQuaids birth story

For weeks, twice a week we had been doing non-stress tests on the baby, mainly because my blood pressure started to spike at about 33-34 weeks. Nothing WAY serious but it had gone up higher than its been and because I have a history of high blood pressure during pregnancy they wanted to watch and […]

Its getting real, real quick.

Umm hello 👋🏼 Just thought I would do a quick update on how things are going over here. With pregnancy and life. First off, we get to meet our sweet boy in 10 weeks. WHAT?! 😱😱 how is this even possible?! Everything has gone perfect. This really has been an enjoyable pregnancy. No huge complaints […]


21+ weeks. We made it this far. We actually did it. There is a lot to say and a few updates, so bare with me as i try not to go on a ramble here. About four weeks ago i went to another “psychic medium” group reading and right after she gave someone a reading, […]

after every storm.

Its been one year, two months, three weeks, and four days since you left this earth and grew your wings. There hasn’t been a single moment in my life that I haven’t thought about you. Every bitter second of every awful day you have gone through my mind. I had a dream last night of […]

In that moment

February 12, 2018 I woke up feeling a little optimistic and decided, “What the heck. Just do it!” So I did, I took a test and within five minutes I got the little “plus sign”. Tears were instantly welling up. I couldn’t even believe it. Is this even happening? Almost a year of trying and […]

Part 2

“Welcome back Holland.” god said with a smile on his face Its even more beautiful than before. So much white, so much light, so many clouds, and this halo, thats new. This has to be the most beautiful place I have ever been. I looked down only to realize I wasn’t a baby anymore. I […]

Hollands story ✨

Jesus told me that they were the ones. That this mommy would love me forever no matter how different i was. He told me i was special so he had to send me to a special mommy and daddy. That they would always know what to do. Weeks went by and daddy kept saying i […]