February 3, 2017

We made it 2 weeks and 1 day longer than we did with big sister! This is pretty exciting!

So far, I am feeling pretty great. The only time I have puked in the third trimester was when I got food poisoning at 28 weeks. That was miserable! I think I’ve been sick maybe 10 times this whole pregnancy. If all pregnancies were this easy I might debate on having a lot more kids 😉

It seems like every other day I have this ball of energy and feel like I can conquer the world. Then, the next day I am so exhausted I could probably sleep all day long. Sometimes I do squeeze in a 10 minute nap while Hayven watches Mickey Mouse. 😉

It seems like little miss always has the hiccups. Every night after dinner it seems like she gets them. It really is the cutest thing to watch my belly. And it just reassures me that she is still a live in there.

She is still so tiny so her movements are very slim and her kicks still aren’t very big so I convinced myself if I eat a bag of cookies and cadbury eggs then maybe it will all go straight to her and not me 😉 Wishful thinking, right?

I am two weeks away from being considered “full term” and that scares the crap out of me. If this was a healthy baby growing inside of me I would probably have a whole different mind set. But, the thought of her being here in 2 weeks even 3 weeks scares me to death. I am just not ready for anything. I don’t know if I ever will be either.

In 6 days I am meeting with the Neonatologist to set up a date for my c section and hopefully meet some people that will be working on my case. And talk about my birth plan. I am slowly getting a hospital bag packed and today I am going to be working on a birth plan. More like a rough draft then I’ll get it typed up to give to the doctors. I may share that with you all if that is something that even interests anyone. There is just SOOOOO many scenarios that I have to think about and what I want the outcome to be like. But if that is something you guys are interested in, let me know and I will share it with you as soon as I can get it all figured out.

Along with finding out about our sweet baby girl, a few weeks ago we found out some terrible news about my grandpas health so he has been staying up north at a hospital to be taken care of. His health has been deteriorating every single day and we just do not know when he will go. He has been such a fighter and I know he isn’t ready to let go but it absolutely KILLS me to see him suffer. He was my babysitter growing up and I have a lot of memories with him and for that I am forever grateful.

Even on his good days and he’s up and talking he is still being his smart mouth self 😉 so I was glad to see he hasn’t lost his spunky personality.

On one of his bad days I had told him about my baby girl and that he needed to take care of her for me when he’s gone till I can be there. There is absolutely nobody else I’d rather have with her than him. He can show her all the animals, teach her how to tie her shoes, take her on horse rides and make sure she gets her afternoon nap with him.;) I told him. “I need you to take care of her and to not let her be alone and show her the way.” He hadn’t been talking much that day but he responded to me and told me “I will be there.”

My heart sunk to the pit of my stomach. But the thought of her not being alone does bring a little bit of peace to me. I told him, “If heaven is magical then maybe you can send down some magic healing powers and bring me a healthy baby so I can enjoy her longer.”

This whole entire year (yes this whole entire month) has been nothing but a bumpy road. I am trying to hold onto any faith I have left but just the thought of losing not one but two of the most important people in my life makes me die a little inside.

I honestly do believe all this stuff happening with my grandpa is because he is suppose to be there for my baby girl when it is her time. I believe this was part of gods plan some how. He is my last living grandpa and it will never be the same without him here. I love you so much.