No, I’m not done telling you guys stuff. Okay? But if you truly like reading what I have to say then click the “follow” button in the right bottom corner. 😘😉 (do other bloggers use emojis when they write? I kind of don’t think they do 🤷🏽♀️)
Anyway, the point is. You know all my other blogs, they talk about how my life is so different? There was a lesson in all that has happened to me. Let me tell you what it was. This is coming straight from Holland and the creator. I’ve always said there has to be a lesson and last night I finally learned what it was.
I’m just assuming this lesson was intended for me. BUT it has taught my friends and family too (even people I don’t know.) I get told EVERYDAY. Like EVERYDAY . How strong I am. How beautiful my writing is. When is my book gonna be published. 😉 I totally love hearing it. Like, seriously. I love it. I do not take compliments. So when someone gives me one am I suppose to say, “thank you? Or, oohhh uh cool?🤦🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️” it’s a hard task to do.
Do you understand yet? I learned to love differently. That’s it. That’s the lesson. To love differently.
Holland straight up said that she wasn’t suppose to be on earth. Her purpose was to teach us a lesson. A lesson on how to love differently. My first initial thought was, “okay I can’t just lose a toe or something? I had to lose a daughter to be taught how to love differently?”
I always thought I had a big heart, I’m an emotional wreck everyday. Like, I cry at the drop of a penny. I always have. I always thought I was a good person. But I’m even better now. (No, I’m not here to brag about myself. So don’t start thinking you’re going to read a blog about how awesome I am 🙄😉)
Before Holland, I was so closed off to the world. I never wanted to leave the house because I didn’t want to interact with humans. (Sometimes I still don’t. Lol) I worked in the public for about 3 years and I hated it. People were always so mean. I can’t even tell you how many times I got yelled at because the price was wrong.
I always thought people were so nosey, always wanting to be in my business. It took a lot of strength to post my first post on Facebook about Holland. There was a lot of rumors flying around so I had to clear things up. I seriously wrote and rewrote the status that explained what is going on with me.
Everybody kept telling me to write a blog. (Especially my mom) she was on me everyday. “So are you gonna start a blog?” Mostly because I love writing. It seriously is my calming ground.
I hesitated for WEEKS about this blog because I was like do people really need to know my business? I’m such a paranoid person so it took a lot of strength to start this.
As soon as I started writing I watched my stats BOOM! From 20 views to 5,000 views. (Hollands passing was the most popular blog. More shares then I could keep up with!) I got about 20 friend requests in one day from people I don’t even know. And oh my gosh the gifts 😱 the flowers, necklaces, the jewelry, the gifts for Holland, the pictures. I cried every time I came home and something was on my porch. 😭
People started leaving me comments on my blogs. Like the sweetest comments. I literally cry at. I couldn’t even believe that… people CARE. They really care. I’ve got so many messages from people I don’t even know. People are so sweet.
I just can’t believe that people really love me. So this had to happen so my heart would open to other people. I was so closed off to people and their feelings. “Yeah they don’t really care they just want to be nosey and be my friend.”
Although I sometimes still think that I have made SO SO many friends. It was exactly what I needed.
Everyday I try my hardest to be a better version of myself. I try so hard to be kind, always. I try to always put myself in someone else’s shoes before I judge. I try to be a friend to everyone. I have learned to love in a different way.
Not every human sucks. Not every human is trying to be nosey. Not every human is fake.
I try to be everyone’s friend. I had so much hate in my heart before. I have learned to forgive the people that hurt me because it’s not worth the anger.
I still have a lot to learn but I always try to…
Holland came through last night to my sister and a few other family members. Just pointing out that she knows my aunt got those flowers for her casket and even told us the color of ribbon she used. She told my sister she knew that she was there after she passed to hold her when I couldn’t. (Usually when I went pee i handed her to her to hold. We never put her down) Then she began to explain to us what her purpose was. She wasn’t meant to be here. I knew this. As much as it hurts. I knew this. She was meant for better things.
My grandpa just basically hates us for trying to talk to him all the time. (Hahahah) we always go to readings to hear from him so he told us to stop fussing over him. He’s gone. Move on with your life. If you know my grandpa that is seriously something he would say. He kills me. (Hahaha)
I’ve always been a proud person so I never like to show my vulnerability to people. (Not even my own husband) if I’m sad I always find somewhere to cry so nobody knows. I don’t share those kind of moments with people.
Here’s my advice to you. Be kind, have an open mind, with a genuine heart. Don’t hold grudges, and don’t feel hate. It’s not worth your time.
There was this silly article on Facebook at “choose your crystal” whatever you are drawn to tells you about your life. It was literally spot on for me and all my family. We each chose a different rock so it was crazy how it all worked. I will post the link Here so you can check it out! I chose the pebble number 5. So choose a number then go read 5.
““My biggest wish to have a healthy baby after Holland. I know if I listen to my gut and my sweet baby she will direct me in the way I’m suppose to go. What a life changing event.