Ever wondered what happens after someone you love passes away? I know I have. Do they stick around? Do they hear your cries? 

I had the opportunity to go to a live spirit event {medium} here in my home town in hopes that someone in my family would come through. I lost my aunt 5 months ago, then two months later I lost my grandpa and my daughter so someone would have to come through if this was real. Right?? 
On the way to the event I told my family, “my daughter better be stubborn and she better come through.”

We found our seats and sat down. I cannot even begin to tell you my anxiety level at this point. I thought I was going to pass out. I was getting sweaty, light headed and my palms were nearly dripping sweat I was so nervous. I didn’t even know what to expect but I thought, “someone better have the ambulance on speed dial because I might be going down.” 

After waiting for about 30 minutes for the medium to start she was introducing herself and right in the middle she looked right at my family and said, “sorry, a father figure is coming trying to come through.” Then continued on with her speech. 

As soon as she finished she walked right to me and said, “There’s a baby here.” I completely broke down. I couldn’t even believe it. The first person to come through was MY baby. How did she know it was me? She looked right at me! Holland showed her where I was! I couldn’t even believe it. Holland knew I was her mom! 

I was holding my chest with my hands because of the pain I was feeling once again in my heart. It was breaking because I had no idea what she was going to say. She asked me with sad eyes if I wanted to hear her message. I nodded, “yes!” 

She began, “You made handprints of her hands after she passed” “I made hand molds. Yes! 😭” “I feel like you had to make a hard decision and patted her chest.” I said, “yes, I had to choose whether or not to get surgery on her heart or not.” She shook her head, “okay, she just wants you to know she is at peace and appreciates you holding her after she passed. She knows you held her close to your heart and said you loved her. She knows she was loved. She wants you to know that she knew she was loved.” 

Oh my.. that’s EXACTLY what I wanted to know is that she knew she was loved so much. She heard my cries and she answered my prayers. 

“You saved a pink rose in memory of her.” WHAT?!? Yes! “The rose her dad wore to her funeral I kept that!” I seriously forgot all about that rose. I didn’t even tell anyone about it. Riley didn’t even know! “You made a shadow box of her things?” “Yes! Oh my gosh!” “She said you’re not done with it, that you want to add more things to it.” “Oh my gosh, yes!” I just had this conversation with Riley that I need a bigger shadow box because everything in her diaper I want to put in it but there’s no room. She heard that conversation! I’m secretly dying inside right now. I cannot even believe this. She hears our conversations.

“Something about wrapping her up into a blanket, then opening it back up and kiss her because you didn’t want her to go” are you kidding me right now?? I don’t know if I shared that with you guys the day she passed the mortuary guy showed up with a blanket that I needed to wrap her up in… her whole body. I had to wrap my babies head in the blanket and cover her whole body. 

I laid her on the blanket, started folding the blanket over her body, tears are streaming and my legs were getting weak I couldn’t be doing this right now.

I wrapped her all up and hugged her. I went to give her to the guy and took her back and opened the blanket and kissed her on the head and said, “im so sorry baby, I love you so much.” And gave her to the guy. She saw me open that blanket up again. 😭 guys, I’m falling apart at this moment. I cannot even believe this. So unreal. 

My grandpa came through during the reading and said he was fishing with Holland. He also told us we were annoying when we would rub his head with our hands or a rag when he got a fever when he was sick. Preferably my sister. (Hahaha) he told her when he was alive it was annoying and wanted to let her know again that it annoyed him. He is killing me. He is still the same person on the other side. Oh and that recliner we were going to get rid of. He said, “its fine! Just leave it alone! It’s fine! It still works!” Should we cry or laugh? 

The medium said, “I’m seeing a police badge.” “Oh my gosh, my husbands a police officer.” “Okay I don’t really like saying that out loud because i don’t know whether or not a badge means a good thing or a bad thing.” (Hahaha) “so why am I seeing a badge?” “He wears a badge on his uniform.” My baby knew her daddy was a cop. She didn’t even come home and she knew her daddy was a cop. She is here. Everyday she is here. 

I could tell she wanted to say more but she needed to move on to the next spirit. “Just so you know, your grandpa said the recliner is fine” she says as she walks away. (Haha) oh man! 

Guess what happened next? My aunt came through! Luckily my cousins were there to hear from their mom. They needed that. They needed closure and it was beautiful. 💗 (I won’t go into specifics on that one because it’s not my place and I don’t have permission to share that.) 

She also told us that people are making hearts in memory of Holland. I’m not sure what that means but maybe it’s just all the love we are receiving after her passing. Maybe it’s all the hearts on my posts I get about her. I’m not exactly sure. All I know is that I will see her again and I will hold her again. She was to perfect and she is in perfect spirit on the other side. 

I cannot even believe how spot on she was about EVERYTHING. There was things people didn’t even know, that I didn’t even share with anyone. 

When I was talking to Holland the other day I told her if you are going to come through then say something only I would know so I know it’s really you. She did. She did exactly what I said. Someone pinch me. Is this real life? 

I love this little girl more than anything in this world and I cannot believe I was so blessed to have her in my life. She blesses me daily. 

Side note: maybe this isn’t your belief, maybe it’s not your religion, maybe you think it’s all fake. But in my heart I know she was there. I know she came through. It has helped me heal in ways I never thought possible. They even told us, if you feel her, she is there. Trust your instincts. She is there. All I’m saying is whether or not this is something you believe please keep the negativity to yourself. This was my blessing and I can’t believe it happened. 

Also, I just want everyone to know that I’m having major anxiety right now posting this. As with every blog post, I question if I should post it or not. 😭

Till I see you again. 💗

Xoxo

Tasia