{the beginning}

{June 27th 2016}

I remember it like it was yesterday. I woke up, peed on a stick and in seconds I saw that second little line appear.

I was almost shocked because it took us so long to get pregnant with our first baby girl and it only took us one try to get pregnant with baby 2.

Riley worked nights so he was sleeping when I found out, but I was so excited I couldn’t wait to tell him! I have wanted to be a mom since like middle school. Im not even kidding. (ask my friends) I love babies so much and I know I was put on this earth to be a mom. But maybe being an aunt at 7 years old had a lot to do with it 😉

So I put Hayven (baby number 1) in a onesie that I had written on that said, ” You made me a big sister.” I basically booked it to the bedroom and told him to wake up and read her shirt. He was so delusional by the time he got up he didn’t even remember. He totally thought it was a dream.

I put Hayven in another onesie that said “I’m going to be a big sister” and sent it to my family. Like, I don’t know if normal people wait to tell their family but I just could not! Not even with Hayven could I wait. We were ecstatic to be adding to our family.

{July 29th 2016}

We made our first doctors appointment which included an ultrasound to verify how far along I was. Little babe seemed to be measuring a week behind what I was thinking so that put “it” at about 8 weeks. We could not wait to share the news with all our friends. So I thought the fourth of July would be a great way to share. Post a picture of our family on our social media sites and tell everyone. (little did I know that about 20 of my friends would post the exact same day we did.)

A few days later after the ultrasound I received a phone call from one of the nurses that works for my doctor and she told me I had Placenta Previa. (low lying placenta) I was somewhat familiar with it because my sister had it with her baby and I knew it could cause quite a lot of problems if I did not take it easy.

Our next ultrasound was going to be at 16 weeks when we find out what we are having. I kind of wanted a boy, but had a gut feeling that it was going to be a girl. Which was totally fine because playing dress up and being girly is totally my thing!

{september 23rd 2016}

Any guesses on what our new little babe is going to be? This next ultrasound was not ordered by the doctor or paid for by insurance so therefore they would not be able to “look” or diagnose anything if there was anything wrong with the baby. We definitely didn’t think there was going to be anyway. Our first baby girl came 7 weeks early but is as healthy as can be so we opted not to do the genetic testing at this time.

Baby is a… GIRL!!!

Oh my gosh we were soooo excited! Literally all I could think about from then on was matching outfits and big bows for the girls. Its funny because I have a baby sister that my mom used to dress me up with and I hated it. Everyone always thought we were twins. But for some reason I couldn’t wait to torture my daughters the same way 😉 hahaha!

{October 21 2016}

20 weeks!!! The exciting half way mark! We finally get to see our sweet baby again (because 4 weeks is just wayyy to long to wait) but, not everything seemed as good as we hoped.

We got checked in and walked to the back to the ultrasound room. Sat down, lifted up my shirt and put some jelly on my stomach. Oh, how magical it was to see our sweet babies face. Aren’t they such a gift? Little miss always has her legs crossed in her ultrasounds and it is just the sweetest thing ever to me. Her perfect little feet, her tiny little hands and her sweet little nose and all her perfect little details had me in tears. (maybe i’m an emotional wreck from being pregnant but it really does tug on your momma heart strings.)

Then came to the anatomy pictures, kidneys, bladder, measuring all her body parts to see if she is on track. Checking her brain for any abnormalities then came the heart. Obviously, she looked perfect to me but the ultrasound tech was acting so weird. She just kept saying, “I cant get a good enough picture of her heart. You just might have to come back in 3 weeks when she is a little bigger.” “She just wont move from under your belly button so the readings just aren’t good” So like a worried mom I replied, “Well does it look okay?” “I cant tell so I cant tell you if it does or not.” So we sat there for another ten minutes trying to get pictures. She recommended we come back in 3 weeks to get her time to grow and get better pictures.

{november 10, 2016}

22 weeks and 6 days. Time to see baby again! Her legs were crossed, and I can definitely see more features. oh man those sweet lips of hers. After many tries of taking pictures of her heart we finally got some that were good enough for the doctor.

{november 15, 2016}

I had my following doctors appointment to talk about this ultrasound we just had. I knew something was wrong but was never expecting to hear this news. It completely broke me. The only appointment Riley missed and I really needed him there.

The doctor pulled out his paper to read everything from the ultrasound. He told me based on what they found it was suggesting deformity of the heart, some of the images were suggesting almost posterior bowing of the chambers. That there was a small right ventricle and a prominent right atrium with a relatively small left atrium. They also found thickening of the tricuspid valve, with limited motion as well. He also mentioned a small cyst on her brain. He said a lot of babies have them and they usually diminish after time.

Obviously, at this point in time I had NO clue what he was talking about. Although, I do watch enough Greys Anatomy so I have heard a lot of these terms before. 😉 but after hearing all of this I completely lost it. Luckily I only lived like 2 blocks away otherwise I wouldn’t be able to drive home.

He suggested I go see the Cardiologist in Salt Lake to get a full echocardiogram of the babies heart to actually verify what is going on and to make an appointment with the Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist for high risk pregnancies up north. Although I would continue my regular OB appointments with him I still needed to see the specialists as depending on what they find I would end up delivering up north.

I also asked about my Placenta Previa as I was told placentas don’t move they just “shift.” He told me there was no sign of Placenta Previa in this ultrasound! Thank you Jesus! Best thing I’ve heard all day!

The receptionist at the front desk made my appointment for the Cardiologist at Primary Childrens in Salt Lake. Now we wait…

Don’t worry, I’ll be back to tell you exactly what happened at this appointment in my next post. So be sure to check back. This has been quite the crazy journey for my family and I really appreciate you taking the time to actually read this whole thing. (I hope I don’t bore you to death) I wanted to start from the beginning rather then just jumping into it so you understand every emotion we have been and are going through.

I will get my next post up hopefully next week. It has basically takin me days to even write this one.

Thanks again for all the love and prayers. I am truly blessed with an amazing family and friends.

                            xoxo,

                                     Tasia

2 thoughts on “{the beginning}

  1. Taisa I am so sorry for your loss and I really enjoyed reading your blog I think it will really help someone going through the same thing love you and your little family

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  2. My brother in law is a genetic councilor and deals with this type of things every single day.. He’s amazing and knows he’s stuff. Are you talking to one of them? PM me if you feel that would be something would would like and would help with all the millions of questions. (If it was me I would)This and so many more things is what they specialize in… I’m sorry!!! Try and stay positive.. that’s the best thing you can do for your little one right now.

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